Bass Clinic Proposal For Ibanez, 2006

This was an attempt at connecting with Ibanez and doing a series of clinic appearances / workshops about creativity in music. Many of my early performances were mock Ibanez Bass Clinics. I always dreamt of doing this. At the time that I pitched this concept to Ibanez, I was serious about being involved in the music industry, and I was attracting a cult-following under the name Sir Millard Mulch. Steve Vai’s Manager, Ruta Sepetys, put me in touch with the General Manager of Ibanez. I emailed him this exact letter several times and I never received a response. I still think this would be an awesome presentation.

• • •

Dear Rob Nishida,

I was referred to you by Ruta Sepetys.

I would like to propose an instructional clinic to you and Ibanez for your involvement. I have played Ibanez live and in the studio for close to a decade and I think we could both benefit from a partnership — whether it be an artist endorsement or an arranged, sponsored tour.

Below is an outline of the proposed music clinic, which I will set up either independently or with your company’s assistance. I plan to begin by scheduling clinics on the West Coast and branching out from there to cover the entire United States.

I recently arrived in Los Angeles and am ready to destroy minds.

Thank you very much for your interest, and I look forward to your response.

Sir Millard Mulch
sirmillardmulch@sirmillardmulch.com

http://www.sirmillardmulch.com

http://www.myspace.com/millard

AIM: sirmillardmulch

• • •

SIR MILLARD MULCH
MATH ROCK, THE INDUSTRY, AND BEYOND!
LENGTH: 1-2 Hours

BIO / BRAGGING:
I released my most recent self-produced album through Mimicry Records, owned by Trey Spruance of Mr. Bungle. The radio single is a 20-minute tribute to Rush called, “Hemisphere III : Hermes,” and features 3 notable drummers: Virgil Donati (Planet X), Nick D’Virgilio (Spock’s Beard, Mike Keneally Band), and Morgan Agren (Zappa’s Universe, Dweezil Zappa). Some other people from Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Good Charlotte, Cannibal Corpse, and even the legendary Devin Townsend did guest spots on my album.

Because of that album, in mid-2005 I was in Modern Drummer, DRUM!, Kerrang!, Decibel Magazine, and a bunch of other independent and foreign rock magazines. I got glowing reviews and several feature interviews in international magazines.

Steve Vai’s Favored Nations (Profound Music Dept.) is currently stocking some of my albums, as Steve himself is a fan of my music, as are zillions of other notable people:
http://www.sirmillardmulch.com/press/reviews/

I also put out an on-line sampler of a “mock” Ibanez Instructional DVD, and a lot of young musicians watched it and flipped out over it. They have gotten nearly 100,000 total views on YouTube and Google Video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSyU3_wYPvY

Because of this great reaction, I’d love to do a REAL Ibanez Clinic Tour. People love the humor and musicianship.

My approach is a satyrical, humorous look at the music industry ala (a modernized) Spinal Tap. My albums, writings, videos, and performances reflect this and have been well-received.

TOPICS COVERED
• How I Grew Up In My Own Little World
Inventing your own fun and following your dreams. The good thing about alienation and its impact on creativity.
• Stories About Famous People I Have Met
How being around and studying successful people influenced me, and how they are different from regular people.
• Why Independent Does Not Mean Amateur
Are there more bands than people, and how can you stand apart from the crowd? How to avoid “The Glut.”
• Don’t Get Trapped In Your Instrument
How to break the traditional playing styles and open up possibilities in your compositions.
• Computers And Music
How a Mac is an invaluable instrument for expressing challenging ideas.
• Why Odd Meter Is Not Odd
A discussion of the geometrical view of rhythms. Applying everyday, non-mathematical actions to music.
• Rhythmic Pointillism and Borrowed Rhythms
Space Between The Notes: a vast, untapped territory.
• Why Image and Fantasy Are Great, Inspiring Things
Music is only one part of our total sensory experience.
• Production, Mixing, and Composition Are Now One Process
How you can find the shortest path between your ideas and reality.
• How I Recorded An Album In My Bedroom And Got In Music Magazines
Yep, it’s true.
• The Difference Between Talent And Skill
Discussing the various elements of personality types. Who NOT to be in a band with.
• Team Work And Leadership
Do you want to be “a genius with a thousand helpers?” How to surround yourself with the right people.
• Communication: All Art Comes Down To This.
Why it is important to communicate an idea with precision — and why your arrows need to be sharp.
• Your Goal: Making A Statement To The World
Forget practicing. Forget theory. Forget gear. What is it that you are saying to the world?

• Musical Examples and Q&A
…and on and on…

Some sections of my presentation will be scripted and some will be improvised.

TARGET AUDIENCE:
I truly believe that there has been a revival of challenging, complex music fandom on the internet. My internet persona has become an inspiration and rallying point for that revival. A new generation of kids are writing to me every day, all day long. They are starving for music that is thoughtful and quirky. They want to be entertained, but they want to hear a real story from a real guy. I offer a fresh perspective, with an edgy and no-bullshit attitude. I am one man doing everything, and that is a strong myth. Everywhere I go, I make a statement and people either love me or hate me. The tension that is set up: that I carry my career around in my own hands and can be humorous about it… is something that stirs up a lot of passion and excitement.

With my triple-disc, 4-hour long album, I was able to unify several smaller niche markets that I believe are overlapping. My entire conceptual package caters to that unified market of weird kids who love the serious technical side of Dream Theater and Steve Vai, but also very strange and goofy pop music like Mr. Bungle and Ween. The day of the mutant music virtuoso / shredder is coming back, and I am a new and strong representative of that element, even if in a comical way. My list of peers and musicians interested in working with me reflects that.

A music clinic is an IDEAL medium for my message for two reasons:
a.) It is attended by people who take the craft of music very seriously.
2.) It is attended by people who are not drunk and yelling.

PROMOTION:
I believe in customized, “first-person perspective” promotion of myself. I have a mailing list of customers from all over the world, a rabid following on Myspace, and I spend all day long interacting with my fans personally. My Blog is currently ranked in the Top 20 on Myspace. I aggressively put myself in front of as many people as I can. I am also a graphic designer (I worked at an advertising agency for 6 years) and create very humorous and eye-catching posters and banners. Here is an online portfolio of my visual design skills:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mutantmall/

MERCHANDISE:
I run my own label and online store called MutantMall. It features unusual and challenging CD & DVD releases and side-projects involving a splattering of musicians as diverse as Virgil Donati, Morgan Agren, Lale Larson, Todd Duane, Devin Townsend, and other members of Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Cannibal Corpse, Planet X, Victims Family, itch, Mats / Morgan, and Spock’s Beard.
http://www.mutantmall.com

I also have beautiful 8×10 full-color glossies available for autographing.

WHAT THE AUDIENCE WILL LEAVE WITH:
The audience will leave with an increased sense of hope about the future of challenging music. I will give them a vocabulary and perspective that will open their ears to the elements of music theory that they may have been missing out on. I can show them how to break down traditions in their playing yet be able to communicate a strong message. They will see proof that one guy, alone in a room with his ideas, can freak people out and succeed.